William (TBI): Full Episode - Recovery from a farm motorbike accident

Episode 1: Full episode - William Cole - Recovery from a farm motorcycle accident which resulted in a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI).
In this first episode we meet William Cole, a 25 year old farmer from Bookaar in Western Victoria who had a farm motorcycle accident in 2017 resulting in a traumatic brain injury.
We meet William and hear about life before the accident, what happened and discuss his initial treatment in hospital, his ongoing recovery back at home and the things which have been most beneficial and most important in his recovery.

Transcript and show notes are available for each episode on the podcast website: storiesofrecovery.buzzsprout.com

William's recommendations:

• 25:10 - Make friends with the people treating you,
• 28:42 - Watch movies or tv shows that you enjoy and have seen before with the subtitles and volume both turned on to help your brain reconnect the sound with the words,
• 36:22 - Don't compare yourself to before the accident/injury/event. Instead consider...what 'might' be possible. What 'might' I be able to do? (in a positive sense),
• 37:22 - Set small challenges and build up, and REWARD YOURSELF,
• 38:53 - 'Back yourself', in a mature but positive way,
• 42:13 - William discusses the enormous value in developing a good relationship with a neuropsychologist, and working through the challenges of living with and recovering from a neurological condition such as a traumatic brain injury together. This was William's 'knight in shining armour' and my own key takeaway from this interview,
• 49:30 - Exercise, do things that you enjoy, be in places that make you feel good,
• 51:1 0 - Movie recommendations: Something that you are excited about. For William this was Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter (with subtitles) in rehabilitation,
• 52:17 - Gain learnings and inspiration from other peoples stories: https://constanttherapyhealth.com/brainwire/the-top-5-most-inspiring-ted-talks-about-brain-injury/ 
• 58:03 - Journalling has been very important in William's recovery. "Just start writing..." Put your thoughts, your worries and the things that are concerning you down on paper,
• 1:00:14 - Listen carefully to your doctors, treat them with respect and build a friendship,
• 1:01:00 - Let your interests guide your recovery,
• 1:02:10 - Don't be afraid to share your story. Telling your story and listening to others within the rehabilitation setting, and talking about your accident/injury/condition with family and friends in William's view "is one of the biggest parts of healing". It'll help you reflect on and process the injury or condition and connects you with those around you,
• 1:05:30 - Avoid alcohol and drugs for as long as you can following your accident/injury,
• 1:07:40 - Extending on the earlier recommendation regarding journalling, William suggests trying to notice if something is getting you down, writing it down and exploring it and if needed, taking it to a friend or a neuropsychologist to help you work through it,
• 1:08:43 - If you'd like to work with William to run events like this in the future, you can contact him at: willyjcole@gmail.com,
• 1:20:45 - Final thoughts from William: "Keep on being you, and you shall keep on".

For more detailed show notes, see the individual chapter sections on the podcast website.

Chapters

• 0:00 Chapter 1: Introduction & life before the accident
• 7:25 Chapter 2: The accident and initial treatment in hospital
• 29:32 Chapter 3: Returning home and William's main recovery learnings
• 53:20 Chapter 4: New habits & perspectives

Transcript

Note that the timestamps within this full episode transcript are taken from the individual chapter episodes.

Robbie - Host (00:00):
Welcome to Stories of Recovery. My name is Robbie Frawley and on this podcast, I interview people who have experienced and recovered from brain-related conditions, such as stroke, concussion, chronic pain, and traumatic brain injury. We discuss their story and highlight the things which have been most beneficial and most important in their recovery. This might be specific treatments or medical professionals that were most crucial. It could be books, knowledge, or advice, which they were given or which they found along the way, or even particular habits, attitudes, or practices that helped them the most. If you or someone you care about is struggling to recover from one of these or another brain related condition, this podcast was really made with you in mind. I want you to know that others have been where you are now and that they have gotten better. You can recover and hopefully in the interviews that follow you'll hear a thing or two which resonate and which help you to do just that.

Robbie - Host (01:25):
So who am I? Well, I'm a young man who grew up in country, Victoria Australia, and I've had a number of concussions growing up playing sport. After the last one, which was over seven years ago now, I developed something called post-concussion syndrome. I'd never even heard of this, but it left me with ongoing fatigue, headaches, nausea, vertigo, cognitive fog, overwhelm, and sensitivity to impact. It had a really dramatic effect on my life. And it took many years, much effort and great assistance from others to fully recover from it. And now that I am back to 100% and again, have some surplus energy, I'd like to help you in any way I can to get you back to good health. My hope is that we can provide some light at the end of the tunnel for you, and also give you some useful tips and tricks that might help you along the way.

Robbie - Host (02:20):
Now, one thing to remember is that the brain is a really marvellous thing, and you can get better. Now I've left in as much of the context, detail and information in these interviews as possible, which means they can be quite long, just under one and a half hours for this first one, but they're split into key chapters to make it easier to listen and to help you to focus on what you need to hear right now.  And remember that you can pause and come back to the story in as many small bites as you need.

Robbie - Host (03:10):
Now without further ado, let's jump into it. In this first episode, I'm speaking with William Cole, a 25 year old sheep farmer from Bookar in Western Victoria. William had a farm motorcycle accident in 2017 resulting in a traumatic brain injury. This conversation took place in December 2019 at his home on his parents' sheep and cattle property within the beautiful volcanic landscape north of Camperdown. William grew up here with his parents and his brother riding motorbikes, driving tractors, shearing sheep, and working with his family on their farm. He's a really wise young man, as you'll hear and I learned a great deal from this conversation, things which became critical to my own recovery.

Robbie - Host (04:01):
Finally, this conversation took place on the lands of the Eastern Maar people of south Western Victoria. And I would like to acknowledge them as traditional owners of this land. I would also like to pay my respects to their elders past and present and Aboriginal elders of other communities who may be listening to this conversation. I wish you courage and energy on your own journey forward, and I hope you enjoy this wide ranging conversation.

Robbie - Host (04:32):
So Will, thank you so much for having me here, in your home and in this beautiful part of the world. I'm really excited to just to sit down and have a chat with you. As I mentioned, I read a little bit, just a brief amount about your story in the Weekly Times, two weeks ago, after an article in there and reached out via the phone about a week ago. And, yeah, I was quite blown away by your attitude and some of the things that you said during that conversation, and I just thought, wow, lthis is, the perfect thing that I think people need to hear, really the perfect candidate. And so what a fantastic place to begin on this podcasting journey. So thank you so much for your time. Do you want to start off with just telling us a little bit about yourself? You've obviously grown up here in the south west. Do you want to tell me a little bit about that.

William Cole - Guest (05:47):
No worries. Thank you. Well, thank you for coming out. Um, you know, I was born out in the south west of Victoria and come from well in a place called Bookar, which is around all the mountains around there. I was born into a farming family, sheep, cattle and pastoral property where we have been farming here for seven generations. So yeah, I've always sort of grown up to be an outdoorsy kid playing a lot of sport and, going back I can recall going for rides on the motorbike with my grandfather, who's obviously now passed on, but yeah just a lot of vivid memories from growing up around this area. Home is, it's a very special place and very special to me in the fact of being involved in the agricultural industry. I really do enjoy being able to go outside and have a full day of work all week, all year if you really want that but there's always something to do and it's a lot of fun. So yeah, growing up naturally having those interests and always playing around with my hands, trying to figure out how that wheel would spin on the motorbike and stuff like that. So a very curious mindset, being a classic young south west kid on the, on the land.

Robbie - Host (07:23):
And so then, let's go back just over two years ago. So back to, I guess, September, 2017. So just before your injury, do you want to describe a typical day in the life of Will Cole?

William Cole - Guest (07:38):
Yeah, sure. Well I'd moved back here, because I did a couple of years up in the city and moved back home and I was working on the Western Victorian livestock exchange, during the construction process of that. We were working from sun up till sundown, not really acknowledging fatigue or when to take a rest.

Robbie - Host (08:00):
And were you playing football locally as well?

William Cole - Guest (08:02):
I was playing football. I wouldn't have been playing football at the accident time, but earlier that year I was playing back at Camperdown.

Robbie - Host (00:32):
So then do you want to talk us through in as much, or as little detail as you like...the event itself?

William Cole - guest (00:41):
Yeah, yeah. The... well...the big crash. It was, well, just to start off, it was really funny because all of a sudden you're somewhere and then you're somewhere else. It was like teleporting.

Robbie - Host (00:51):
That was your experience?

William Cole - guest (00:52):
Yeah, it was strange just because I dunno if it was just my pain tolerance or maybe I was bombed out on the medication that the doctors were giving me. But yeah, well, on the 8th of October, it was a Friday. I knocked off work and I came home and I was welding. And when you've got your eye 'in', it means you can sort of weld anything. So I came home to my workshop and kept welding because I was 'in form'.

Robbie - Host (01:23):
Nice.

William Cole - guest (01:23):
And then I had a mate come over. And he was hanging out. Yeah, he was staying for the weekend, all weekend. He got down from Melbourne and we were just hanging out here, just chatting and catching up and had a beer or so, and, the neighbours were having their daughter's 25th (birthday) and they've been good family friends since they moved in about 12 years ago. And so being a good neighbour I thought it's her birthday and she's got all her mates, we'll go over and say g'day. I was catching up on their news and yeah... So I stayed there for about two hours or so. Nothing too big, from about 7:00pm to 9:00pm, had a bite to eat, and they were playing some boccé out on the lawn and so I played that... And so I was chatting to her mother and she was just sort of walking me out saying thanks for coming. And I was like, yeah, no worries, Allison. Good to see you. I chatted to her post-accident and she said, yeah, you seemed fine. I think across the whole night I would have had two beers. So, you know, I was quite, fine,

Robbie - Host (02:25):
Lucid?

William Cole - guest (02:26):
Yeah. And she said I got on the motorbike fine and put my helmet on fine. It was just, you know, normal Will, like he's just doing his thing. And so yeah, I jumped on the bike and set sail off back towards home, from that party. And so yeah I went home with that thought, that you know, I've got to work tomorrow. And so I was just driving home and for me I was just went into a black cloud, like I can't remember, but for the description of it, I was heading home and I think roughly would have been (travelling at a speed of ) about 30 to 40 kilometers per hour. The right side of my handlebars of my motorbike, I was on a two wheeler agricultural motor bike, and the right handle of it clipped into a Bluestone cattle grid, which resulted...

Robbie - Host (03:23):
So into the wall?

William Cole - guest (03:24):
Into yeah. Into, into it. Into a the bluestone wall.

Robbie - Host (03:30):
So you're driving past a...through the gate and clipped the edge of the gate?

William Cole - guest (03:32):
Yeah, yeah. Yep. So it's just over the road where the crash site was. Um, but yeah, so driving up towards to exit the property and drive through the entry onto my property and yeah, there was these, um, there's a blue stone cattle grid. So you drive over that to stop the cattle obviously, getting onto the road and, uh, yeah. Being made out of bluestone, it obviously impacted quite hard and resulted in the, um, right handlebar jerking down hard to the right and the wheel hitting, and, um, it, it's, it's quite funny because there's a few marks on that side and then there's few marks on that side, and some people think that I would have hit there, and I did hit that part of the stone at that time with my head. Um, I didn't have my helmet done up, so I think my helmet would've came off and I hit it with my head on the right side, and then I've managed to stay on the bike and drive across as it would have bounced back across and driven onto the other side of the wall. But that amazes me, like I must've somehow really got it on a sharp angle because of the cattle grid. Like there's, it's like when you tram track on your bicycle, it's sorta no escape. Yeah, somehow it must've been over the grid and then came back and hit it or something because they found the bike on the left side, out through the exit about 10 meters. So I may have stayed on the bike and fell off there or I might have fallen off at the first impact or the second impact. We're really not too sure. I guess the fight or flight response takes over and... to me, like, I cannot recall this at all, the brain's completely blanked it out, but I, yeah, from that accident, I did get up and started to walk back towards where my friends were having their birthday party.

Robbie - Host (05:30):
Because how far were you from there?

William Cole - guest (05:33):
Uh, it was about 200 meters.

Robbie - Host (05:36):
Okay.

William Cole - guest (05:37):
Yeah. So it was, yeah. I did have a break on the way with the walk, cause they found my boot, so I must've fallen down and taken my boot off and they found a pool of blood as well, the next morning. So I was obviously moving quite slowly and steadily but yeah. And I walked back towards the friend's birthday party and jumped in to a car and jumped into the boot of my neighbour's car, who was Alison, the lady I was talking to before I jumped on the motorbike to sail off back home. It was just chance of luck that Alison actually had to catch a flight the next morning, quite early and it was about 6:00 AM or something. So what did she do, she woke up, packed her stuff and jumped into her car and heard scuffling in the back and she was like, oh, what's that? That's strange.

Robbie - Host (06:34):
Is this a sedan or a wagon?

William Cole - guest (06:36):
Ah, this is a four wheel drive.

Robbie - Host (06:38):
And so you've closed the back behind you and you're like huddled up in..., in the back of the boot. Yeah. Wow.

William Cole - guest (06:45):
So, um, the brain must've been working quite well to be able to close the boot on yourself.

Robbie - Host (06:51):
It sounds like the return from sort of a late night at a B&S (Bachelor and Spinsters - Agricultural Ball) or something, where you crawl back into the back of your ute and crawl into your swag for the night.

William Cole - guest (07:00):
Yeah, it was, well, it was funny because before Alison found me, I had started dreaming and these were very vivid dreams. Like I was dreaming that I was at their property, but we were having this massive party and there was all my old workmates from the sale yards were there and they were drinking and we were watching the cricket and in then there were these people from like Mexico there...

Robbie - Host (07:26):
You can still remember this two years later?

William Cole - guest (07:27):
I remember that. And I remember I got locked in this garage. It was a girl called Megan. I've never seen this face or met a lady alike before. Another younger...I can't remember her name and this old, like 60 year old dude from Hungary. Like he had like a very European accent and it was, it was classic. Um, but the funny thing in my dream was, Megan or whatever her name was saying that she had to go to town to buy meds because I said I had a headache and she was like, okay, I'll run to town and get you some medicine. And then I can remember the dream, I was like, where's that Megan chick? And as soon as I thought that she popped up and she was like, oh, here you go...

William Cole - guest (08:17):
So yeah, I'll leave it at that, but, well, yeah.

Robbie - Host (08:20):
So, so what happened? I guess, just from the story...like you obviously don't have the memory of any of this, but what happened at that point? So your friend's Mum found you halfway to the airport?

William Cole - guest (08:32):
Well, no, luckily she didn't leave the house.

Robbie - Host (08:35):
She would have been surprised to find you there!

William Cole - guest (08:37):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It would have been a great shock. And because of the impact that I had on the stone, I wasn't looking pretty. So it would have been quite the, um, initial shock to see someone in that state, especially someone that you've known for quite a while, but then also just the wonder of, you know, what the hell happened to you? Yeah. "Where'd you come from and why've you been in my car and what's going on?

Robbie - Host (09:01):
So she drove you to the hospital?

William Cole - guest (09:04):
She didn't drive me to the hospital. She raised the alarm with her husband and he came out to check on me, but somehow they got me to the shower.

Robbie - Host (09:21):
So were you awake?

William Cole - guest (09:22):
I was, but I cannot remember this . Um, very groggy, like very slow responses like, ah, nah. But yeah, and so they would have woken up some others and put me in the shower and my good mate, who was their son Elliott. Um, he put me in the shower and he turned it on and he thought um, oh, why are you sitting down? So he stupidly thought he'd stand me up. And then it was that classic realization, as soon as you take one step or two steps away, he was like, maybe I shouldn't have done that. And he hears this massive thump and down I go straight back onto the ground. But luckily in a funny sense, luckily it did happen because I had long hair at the time down, past my eyes. Um, and he looked at me and I looked up at him and then he actually could see my skull. So, um, he then just ran out of the bathroom, was like, all right, nah we need to, let's call the ambulance. Let's just raise the alarm. And, um, he woke up his older sister and luckily she had a few, you know, being a birthday party. Some of her mates were nurses and, um, studying something, you know, in the medical world of things. And yeah, they woke up and sorta took my aid and were looking after me with the most care, which was, very again lucky. And then they had called the ambulance and the first ambulance rocked up and that was the local ambulance from town and they put me in the stretcher and stuff and they were going to take me to Warrnambool. But through my Mum's and everyone's around here...local knowledge, they know that the roads are pretty, how you going, like bumpy and potholes and stuff. And they knew that someone in such a state, they didn't really want to risk it. So they decided to call the air ambulance and just re-jittering back to my story, it was funny because Mum was there and I can remember her being like "how are you? Can you feel my hand? Squeeze my hand". Um, but I was telling her that I owed Megan money for the medication she got me from those dreams. And Mum questioned me about it like a year or two after the accident and I was like "oh, I was dreaming" by then. Yeah, anyway.

Robbie - Host (11:48):
So you got air lifted to Melbourne?

William Cole - guest (11:50):
Yeah. So yeah, so the air ambulance came and landed and they strapped me up, or put me in there and I got flown to the Royal Melbourne hospital. Now when I got there, I think I would have been seduced (sic) into a coma at the Royal Melbourne. I don't know if the ambulance did. Um, but anyway I got flown there and got seduced (sic) into an induced coma for nine days, and that was more weird dreaming, but yeah, it was just strange because that whole...it was about 10 days, I'd say, yeah just solid, straight dreams and yeah, it was a strange and funny place. I mean I could ramble on about those dreams for hours, but there's no point. But yeah, I can remember, waking up. When it came time to wake up. And...

Robbie - Host (12:47):
Was that something that the medical team had decided for you? Like, were they controlling you in that state for nine days?

William Cole - guest (12:54):
Yeah. Well they did actually try to wake me up earlier and as I came re-awoken, I was convulsing wriggling around, so it was still obviously healing a bit. So they put me back into the coma for a few more days. I don't know at what time they tried to wake me back up, but yeah that might've been a couple of days or so. But then during being in the coma I got all my scans and everything.

Robbie - Host (13:25):
So they assessed everything?

William Cole - guest (13:27):
Yeah from head to toe pretty much, just figuring out what was going on. And well I did receive a 9, no 12 hour surgery, which did result in titanium plates and screws in my face. So under my jaw, holding my cheek bones together and part of my eyes together and up all over my skull. Because from the x-rays I had cracked my skull in many different places. And as a result they had to break more of it to be able to fix it properly. So I got a lot of metal up in my head and a lot of, a fair bit of plastic surgery as well. Because there was a lot of cracks I broke all my eye sockets, my jaw was completely dislodged and I couldn't really talk out of it and yeah, just cleanly snapped like my jaw, like there was two parts to my jaw. Yeah, there was a lot of, a lot of damage done.

Robbie - Host (14:43):
I'll just add in here, I saw there was some scans on one of the articles, I think in The Standard of what your scan of your skull at the injury and then after it'd been fixed up and it was pretty traumatic, but I must just say you're looking very good. You'd have no idea...like no idea anything's happened.

William Cole - guest (15:05):
If you want some good surgeons mate I'll get you some. Well hats off to the surgeons, I mean, they're amazing and they're a really cool group of guys, but as you say, a lot of therapists and doctors call it an invisible injury because you know, some people who recover quite well, they'll get put together back again quite well, but yeah you won't even notice like that even happened or...yeah. It's yeah. It's quite amazing.

Robbie - Host (15:34):
Yeah. Some context for people is that all of those other injuries, they would have taken some time to heal, but they would have healed up. And as you say, no one can see them anymore. So I think..., my understanding was you were nine days in a coma in the Royal Melbourne hospital?

William Cole - guest (15:50):
Yes.

Robbie - Host (15:51):
And then how long did you stay in the Royal Melbourne for total?

William Cole - guest (15:54):
I was there for about two weeks following the crash.

Robbie - Host (15:59):
Yep.

William Cole - guest (16:00):
I think about two weeks until what's it called? They've got some term for it, anyway, until I passed that term of just where I'm at, like if I was able to go and go to the toilet independently and sort of be wanting to get out of the hospital bed, I suppose. Because I was just sick of it because those days at the Royal Melbourne I was just bedridden. Just sitting there. No TV or any distractions. They won't allow you to have phones or anything. So just sitting there and really trying to hang out.

Robbie - Host (16:35):
So they put you sort of.. did that initial work in terms of putting you back together and then you had about three months in?

William Cole - guest (16:42):
So yeah, after that I got transferred to the Epworth

Robbie - Host (16:45):
Yep. In Melbourne still?

William Cole - guest (16:45):
Yeah, in Richmond.

Robbie - Host (16:47):
Yep. To the trauma rehab team or who was that to?

William Cole - guest (16:53):
I did have a trauma rehab team and we were all in a ward together, and it was people with head injuries and ABI's (acquired brain injuries) and stuff. So they could all monitor us. No doubt there was a lot of neuropsychologists, speech pathologists and occupational therapists all crammed in and around there to be able to help, because yeah, they do a lot of thoughts and understanding and memory and talking and, a lot of brain function, but then also the OT (occupational therapy) being yeah, work and stuff. And if you were previous employed and how you could ease back into work and monitoring your future days or your tasks that you can perform.

Robbie - Host (17:42):
Yes.

William Cole - guest (17:42):
And so these guys were all working with us to be able to understand where we were at, in terms of healing after such a big crash.

Robbie - Host (17:50):
Yeah sure.

William Cole - guest (17:51):
And yeah, it was good. I was learning...slowly learning to get back to walking at the Epworth. I do remember a few days I was being pushed around in a wheelchair and it felt pretty fun because you didn't have to do much and everyone was working around you. But yeah, I was slowly learning how to walk and I became...I guess my mentality was...I became really good friends with my treaters and sort of made it a friendship rather than a patient, carer thing.

Robbie - Host (18:30):
So this is the team that are kind of around you really sort of focusing on your recovery?

William Cole - guest (18:34):
Yes.

Robbie - Host (18:34):
And who did that comprise? Like what professions did that comprise?

William Cole - guest (18:38):
I had a speech pathologist, a neuropsychologist. I had a psychologist twice.

Robbie - Host (18:44):
What was the difference between the psychologist and the neuropsychologist?

William Cole - guest (18:46):
I think the psychologist just wanted to chat sort of thing. Make sure you know that you had like your thoughts were fine and stuff like that. I can't really say because she flew in and flew out. Like she would just all of a sudden ... cause I was laying in bed most of the day and all the people would come into your room and then leave and she rocked up and chatted for about 20 minutes and then another time for about an hour.

Robbie - Host (19:12):
Okay.

William Cole - guest (19:12):
And well I was just chatting to her about home and the farm because she asked me where I lived and of course I just started talking about the farm. I said you need to come out and visit it one day and dada... And stuff like that, and we became good friends because she was from around here somewhere. But yeah, I never saw her again and she never really did any work with me. Like we didn't really do many assessments, or any assessments or anything.

Robbie - Host (19:36):
So maybe she was just sort of assessing where you were?

William Cole - guest (19:39):
Yeah. Just sort of face value on first impression. I'm not too sure. She could have just been a random lady from the street.

Robbie - Host (19:47):
Just someone who's walked in, looking for a chat?!

William Cole - guest (19:47):
I was quite happily chatting away. So yeah, and then, well my neuropsychologist, my speech pathologist, a physiotherapist, an occupational therapist and a dietician.

Robbie - Host (20:05):
Wow. So it's quite the team. And how often would you see those people?

William Cole - guest (20:09):
The physiotherapist I'd see twice a week, the neuropsychologist I'd probably see twice to three times... no, once a week, speech pathology once a week. I think. Yeah. All the rest were once a week and dietician...

Robbie - Host (20:24):
So you've still got a lot of time by yourself...

William Cole - guest (20:25):
Absolutely.

Robbie - Host (20:25):
Because at this point you can't walk?

William Cole - guest (20:28):
I was getting back to walking. When I was at the Royal Melbourne I couldn't walk and yeah I remember waking up and my eyes...it was just all white and thin lines because my eyes were scabbed over and I remember trying to walk for the first time and they had a couple of the workers on the side of the nurses and yeah. I just tried to stand up and just fell back down and it took a few sessions to be able to get a step in again.

Robbie - Host (20:53):
And, and was that because of the leg? Ok, the leg *less (more) than the head?

William Cole - guest (20:58):
Yeah. Yeah.

Robbie - Host (20:58):
But then did you have to learn to talk again?

William Cole - guest (21:01):
Talk, well, yeah in a way. Being able to remember... like just how you asked that question. Trying to be able to remember the question and come up with a response. It was very delayed and could be very random, sort of off with the fairies I suppose, you know.

Robbie - Host (21:20):
Yep.

William Cole - guest (21:20):
And it was just more to...yeah...concentration and memory and being...having a good vocabulary. That was quite hard because I had to sort of start reading again, you know, to be able to get in tune with those words. So yeah, it was funny. Well reading was proving quite tough at the Epworth, but luckily by this time at the Epworth they gave you little screens and you could have Netflix and YouTube and stuff, and I started watching a lot of Netflix, but I started watching movies with subtitles on. So I would watch movies that I knew and just read the subtitles and just read it word for word, even though I'd seen the movie and stuff, but it was just so I could sort of get that brain power going again, just to read the words as they come up and...

Robbie - Host (22:16):
Connect the word with the meaning...

William Cole - guest (22:17):
Yeah, yeah, exactly right. And it was funny with some words, I was just like...uh, what's that mean again...? Stuff like that. But I think the best like medicine for that was time to pass by and my brain slowly became less mush and started to...

Robbie - Host (22:40):
Fire again.

William Cole - guest (22:40):
Yeah, exactly. Fire again.

Robbie - Host (00:31):
So after the three months, did you come straight back here then?

William Cole - Guest (00:35):
Yeah, I came straight back here and it was this time...2018. No 2017, 2 years ago. Yeah, so we were shearing at home and I came straight back home and stupidly enough, I, uh, when the shearers were on their hourly break, I jumped on one of the hand pieces and shore a sheep. And that was my rehab. I remember my dad walked in and he said, oh, is this your resting? Is it? And I was like, ah... I've just got that mindset that I cannot sit still. Like I have to be doing something. So I thought it was a good, easy challenge. It was only a lamb. So it was a good, easy challenge to go up and try to shear.

Robbie - Host (01:17):
How did you go?

William Cole - Guest (01:17):
Yeah I got it shorn. It was a bit slow... but it was quite nice to be, you know... that feeling of being in hospital all the time and sitting down and having to follow orders from the doctor and your neuropsych, and get fed at this time and could only eat puree food because my jaw was wired shut. But then to be at home and I was like shearing shape, you know it was like nice freedom.

Robbie - Host (01:42):
It was just a normalcy?

William Cole - Guest (01:42):
Yeah. And even though it was a bit of work, but you know I didn't really think of the work. Like it was nice to have that freedom again and to be doing something and yeah, it was nice to come back home. I told my neuropsychologist this because she did ask how have I found it, transitioning back to home. And a lot of people... I understand from the research that they do, with brain injuries. Don't... Well they find it completely different when they come back to home a) because they might have a bit more of a severe injury and not be as independent, you know, requiring carers and stuff and then b) but a lot of other people who found themselves to get bored a lot and stuff like that. But for me, I just loved to get back home and I feel like I can go back to my old self in a way with my meaning because I was taking a walk and, um, there was an old fencing line that I'd been working on and it was all up and there was all the wires, but we were tying some of the droppers on and the droppers were like part of...like we drilled through and put the wire through. So they were just hanging there, but I hadn't got finished off tying the top and the bottom dropper...

Robbie - Host (03:00):
So it's like you finished this task?

William Cole - Guest (03:00):
Yeah, there was a bit of wire hanging there and it was sort of just a trip down memory lane. But funnily enough I was like, oh yeah, I thought, oh yeah, that's what I was doing, you know? Oh, you better get back into it and keep going. And yeah, it was just a four, five month holiday from finishing off (tying off) those droppers...

Robbie - Host (03:21):
'Holiday,' being...a very positive term!

Robbie - Host (03:23):
So then....we're two years on now... where do you think you were, if you rated yourself, percentage-wise when you initially returned back to the farm? What would you have... how would you have rated yourself?

William Cole - Guest (03:39):
When I initially returned, I was probably like 50-55%, pretty slow. My head was still very swollen. I'd sleep a lot of the day. I'd sleep probably about 14 hour days. Um, I'd get up and not do much...

Robbie - Host (04:03):
And be very tired?

William Cole - Guest (04:04):
Yeah. And just, yeah, just feel low. Well, my brother was a legend and bought a PS4 (playstation 4 - gaming console) and I just, you know, took the ride. Cause I was back from hospital and played a lot of PS4, which is quite all right.

Robbie - Host (04:18):
Would you we recommend that to people?

William Cole - Guest (04:20):
For the right amount of time, but don't, um, don't go becoming like a crazy gamer. Like it's good at times, when you just need to sort of chill out and rest. So I did that a bit, but then also I was going....I guess I'm very lucky in terms of being a farmer and having a supportive family, as obviously home is my workplace. Dad and my brother were working on the farm and if I wanted to get involved, sure, no worries. But they could easily cater things around me and I could cater myself around the farm so yeah. I wanted to get out there, but yeah, I could only go out for about an hour and I found my focus and motivation was a bit lacking. Like the motivation lacking because I knew I was running on you know, a quarter of a tank, half a tank, and wanting to be able to do it, but I just knew that I had to, had to wait.

Robbie - Host (05:19):
Were those the big things? So fatigue... I imagine you still had some sort of cognitive fog and then low mood? Was that something that was an issue?

William Cole - Guest (05:29):
Well, not really...In terms of...I guess the trip was of comparing yourself then (like at the time of/after the accident) to who you used to be.

Robbie - Host (05:46):
Sure.

William Cole - Guest (05:46):
And sort of when you went back into that environment that you're used to and familiar with, you know what you're capable of, but you can't do it. So you started being angry at yourself compared to who you were sort of thing, because you don't want to be that unproductive person, but you have to just learn to accept that well...that's me and you're still here. So just listen to yourself, like listen to your body and take it easy and yeah rest when you need a rest.

Robbie - Host (06:17):
Let's explore that because that's something that you mentioned on the phone to me, and you credited with being quite a turning point... I think you said at the time that you kind of had this realisation in yourself and then things became a lot easier and you talked about this acceptance. Are you able to explain that a bit more?

William Cole - Guest (06:36):
Yeah, absolutely.

William Cole - Guest (06:39):
Um, when I met my treaters, like making it a friendship rather than the worker, or the carer and patient relationship. Just having a mentality to see the positive side rather than... because I didn't want to view them as my doctor or something. I wanted to view them as someone who was here to help and, you know, look out for you and stuff like that. So I always sort of thought in those ways, but yeah, like out in the paddock, when I was realising that I was getting quite lowly motivated, I started thinking about that like about who I used to be and just took a step back and realised... was able to understand that I was getting upset because I was comparing of that. So the only way to move forward, because I didn't want to keep getting upset, was just to be able to accept that and to be able to accept that that was me at that time, but that me's still there, like, you know, because I'm still here, but I may just have to work on some things to be able to get back to that.

Robbie - Host (07:55):
As opposed to sort of being hard on yourself and not being able to do them straight away, do you mean or?

William Cole - Guest (08:00):
Yeah. And then getting sidetracked and then, you know, just thinking up in your head that, you know, your self worth is a bit lower than... You know, not getting too hung up on all those thoughts, stuff going up, up in your head. And it started, it made me like set myself challenges, you know, let's try and go out to work for like an hour and a half, then two hours and make slow increments, but really reward yourself, you know?

Robbie - Host (08:27):
What did a reward look like for you?

William Cole - Guest (08:27):
Just, just self-love I suppose, like being like "good on you mate", like pat yourself on the back and "you did that" and just reinforce positivity within your own head.

Robbie - Host (08:41):
Yep.

William Cole - Guest (08:41):
And yeah, it really helped. I remember going back for my driver's license and this was just another mentality that I took with this new doctor that I had. With my old doctors, she was from the St. John of God, this new doctor, but all my old doctors were at the Epworth who I'd spent a lot of time with. I was, you know, quite chummy with them and I always had a smile on my face and talked about something else before we had to chat about the injury stuff. But this lady who worked at the St John of God, like she was great doctor, but she was just a classic doctor. Um, and this is few months out of hospital. I was going back for my driver's license and she was just being the classic doom and gloom "here's going to be so many distractions. You're not going to function like you used to...you know, you have to steer and you have to read all the signs coming on and there's oncoming traffic and there's white lines. There's a lot for your brain to take in". I just remember thinking in my head, I was like, ah, can you just please (stop)? Yeah. I know how to...I know what the driving atmosphere is like. Yes I understand you're doing all the doctor crap, but damn I want to prove you wrong so bad. And just being able to say that to myself. I was like 'I back myself' and I have to keep backing myself in a mature, but positive way, I suppose. Just the goal was from comparing myself at 50% was to really drive up to 100%, but be able to pick up the 1%'s and really work with the people I needed to work with to understand it, or think about it in a, you know, outside the box way or listen to other survivors.

Robbie - Host (10:22):
Sure. And where do you kind of rate yourself now, do you think?

William Cole - Guest (10:28):
Um, probably I'd say, well, quite high up there. I'd probably say around 85 to 90%.

Robbie - Host (10:37):
Yep. So you've still got some things you're kind of working towards?

William Cole - Guest (10:39):
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. A few things with my neuropsychologist, a few things in fitness because I dropped... well in that nine day coma I lost about 17-18 kilos.

Robbie - Host (10:53):
Wow.

William Cole - Guest (10:54):
Which is a mammoth amount of weight. And I still haven't returned to that weight, which I'd like to. I guess I lost fitness, but like health and fitness... I'd say they were about worth 2% if I got them back up. I'd say it's more, it's more of the brain stuff that I want to really work with and really understand. Because in the end of the day, you know, I want my brain to be working for as long as I am, and I really want it to be working well, especially with a brain injury.

Robbie - Host (11:27):
Totally. So what does your work look like at the moment in terms of improving that? Like, are you still working with the Epworth or with different hospitals or you just doing stuff yourself?

William Cole - Guest (11:39):
Yeah so I'm doing stuff myself now. But, well a massive shout out to the TAC (Traffic Accident Commission) because I go on their system and I've got a care support coordinator and I can just get in contact with them and I sourced a neuropsychologist myself. I got in contact with them myself and built the relationship beforehand before contacting the C...TAC, not the CFA. And the TAC happily fund it and just sort of keep tabs just to poke along. But I've finished from them having to always ring me up and be like, "Hey, how are you?", "Rate this out of 10" and "How do you feel?" and dah, dah, dah. And I'm working with...I do a few things with the Epworth and the Royal Melbourne in terms of just like questionnaires for their research programs. And I had the Victorian Trauma State Registry call up and had to do a few questionnaires with them. And yeah with the Epworth, a few questionnaires with them, but also I have to go into them. I went in last year and I'm going to go in again this year. And then again in five years, 10 years, 20 years, yeah and meet with my treaters and they throw some questions at me and yeah just a general checkup really, because they want to observe what's going on through the years past with the brain injury.

Robbie - Host (13:08):
So I'll just touch on the neuropsych. You've mentioned neuropsychs a few times in this conversation and I imagine everyone who kind of has different injuries, um, physical or otherwise, you know, there's probably particular people that they bond within their sort of treatment team, but talking to you previously it sounded like you had this fantastic relationship with your original neuropsych at the Epworth and then it sounds like neuropsychologists have been an incredibly sort of valuable tool in your kit of recovery.

William Cole - Guest (13:45):
Absolutely. Like a builder with a hammer.

Robbie - Host (13:48):
Yeah. Is that something you're able to talk about and I guess, talk about what it is they've been able to do to help?

William Cole - Guest (13:58):
Absolutely. Yeah I really struck gold with my neuropsychologist. She was an amazing lady, a heart of gold who was just selfless and would help...She helped so many people and she just had an amazing life and story to tell. I just remember meeting her for the first time and she was always just one of those people that stuck in your head, like you always sort of wanted to be around them or you know, have them in the room, so you can go up and chat to them or something because they were just always full of energy and yeah, so much happiness and love and friendship and everything in them and you felt that often. But she did, or we did a power of work together and we went through all the initial brain function tests and things that we had to do and paperwork and stuff like that. But we became really good friends and she sort of was, I guess a psychologist, but she was also explaining about how the brain has changed through all this because of the shock that you've had. I got really close to her because she was really easy to open up with and tell (things). I would say, oh, I'm finding this hard or this hard and she'd really break it down and spend the time. She'd go home and look up something for two hours specifically to try and help you with that problem, so she could come up with an answer.

Robbie - Host (15:34):
Can you give an example of something that you were at some point having a problem with (and which she was able to help)?

William Cole - Guest (15:40):
With comparing myself to my previous self and she broke that down in terms of how you will feel anger... I cannot remember her exact response cause this was about eighteen months ago now...but she was pretty much saying that it can be quite a natural thing for a lot of people to do. And that was from her understanding. She helped me make myself believe that I wanted to put things in place to not be able to do that, just through listening to my words, but she'd sort of re-jitter them and then say that back to me and prove to me that I'd already said it in myself. And then she'd go on about that for a bit. And then just sort of cement it in your head. Like really, if you had the idea she'd really give you the artillery to help you really get it out there.

Robbie - Host (16:38):
Yep

William Cole - Guest (16:39):
And those thoughts and that natural...she knew that I really wanted to obviously get better, but also I wanted to really understand it. And she took a really good grip on that with the research that I could see that she'd do firsthand and the notes she'd take. And, you know, there was a lot of scribbles on there that must've been garbage for her, but I'm sure it was all great stuff. But yeah, she did an amazing amount of work for a lot of people as well. So I was very, very, um, very grateful to have her. I guess she was my Knight in shining armor of the whole...my whole rehab team.

Robbie - Host (17:27):
And then... I know she's, I'm sorry to sort of talk about this, but I know she's passed away now and otherwise you'd still have her very much in your corner. But then it's interesting I suppose to me that you've then sought out another neuropsychologist that you're continuing to work with. So obviously there's something about that profession?

William Cole - Guest (17:45):
Absolutely.

Robbie - Host (17:45):
And particular people in that profession who have a really positive impact, especially with traumatic brain injuries. What do you think...what is that for you? What do you think it is that they provide that helps?

William Cole - Guest (18:02):
I guess they'd be the best ones to understand, and the best professionals to address the understanding of people's issues, I suppose. I just thought it was amazing because they were, they felt like, you know, they were like a big brother that had been there...but they hadn't been there. They just understood everything like...

Robbie - Host (18:30):
They understand how the brain works?

William Cole - Guest (18:30):
Yeah, absolutely, and it was just really fascinating. I just sort of got fixated on, you know... I never thought a brain injury would affect me, but when it happened I was quite fascinated to examine it I suppose. And well they just knew a lot. And just the way, because I had about three different neuropsychologists, but how all of them would just address themselves and be so calm and be patient and...they're a wonderful profession. It's a wonderful profession and there definitely needs to be more of them because they're just really, really good people.

Robbie - Host (19:10):
Do you have any particular, um, mantras or quotes? You know they may have come from people such as your neuropsych that have been particularly helpful during your recovery?

William Cole - Guest (19:26):
Well I've got one quote that stays in my head a lot. I've made half of it and copied half of it from Baz Luhrman. He's got this song "everybody wear sunscreen", which is this classic seven minutes of him just talking. I've written it down... well his his quote is "your body is the best instrument you'll ever own". I love that because it truly is like, if you look after it, you can play a lot of tunes or you know, you can do a lot of things. Yeah, so "Your body is your best instrument and your mind is the best map". So I yeah..."Your body is the best instrument you'll ever own and your mind is the best map, so nurture it".

Robbie - Host (20:11):
Yep.

William Cole - Guest (20:11):
And so they're two very important things in one's life. So being mindful of your mind and being respectful to your body is what really matters to me, I suppose, like to know your limitations in what you can do physically, but what you can do to get enjoyment and happiness such as going for a run and having that...exercise so your natural endorphins can kick in, but then also looking after yourself mentally....being in places that you want to be in, watching the movie that you want to watch and stuff like that. As long as you're not offending or hurting anyone else just keep beating in your own stride.

Robbie - Host (20:51):
Yep.

William Cole - Guest (20:52):
And there's another saying which is a classic saying, which I heard in the shearing shed once and it's...

Robbie - Host (20:59):
Haha, all wisdom comes from the shearing shed!

William Cole - Guest (20:59):
Yeah! Of all places...but it's "Love many, trust a few, but always paddle your own canoe".

Robbie - Host (21:10):
That's good.

William Cole - Guest (21:10):
Yeah. It's a good one. It just rhymes off it. I just heard it. It was just one of those things. I think he (the shearer) was on the phone or something. This older shearer, just sitting down there on, smoko and he was... Well all the shearers, unless they're chatting to each other they sort of crawl into their own chill out world. Well, he was just on the phone and I just heard that...and just never got it out of my head. I suppose another mantra I had/have is when I wake up and as soon as you, as soon as you wake up, try and make someone smile and you know, some stuff like that, it's focused on the good things and fun things in life.

Robbie - Host (21:51):
Do you have any books or movies or podcasts that were...you'd really recommend to people? If someone had just experienced what you'd experienced, is there anything you'd gift them?

William Cole - Guest (22:09):
If I knew a book that they...something that they've always been wanting to do, like...if they were a builder, but they wanted to become a vet, (I'd get them) a book about veterinary science or something, just for an example. Just something that they can have their excitement on it, but then the information is there. So it is up to them to be able to get it from there (the book), into there, (their head). Something that they're really motivated or keen on but in a book format or a documentary format. Like with movies, I was obsessed with Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. That was just fun to watch.

Robbie - Host (22:56):
Before or after the accident?

William Cole - Guest (22:56):
Oh no after the accident. Yeah. Like just cool effects and just, you know, the storyline and everything's just something different and fun to follow. I did watch a lot of Ted talks, and a few...just in my own merit just went on YouTube and would 'search brain injury survivors 'and stuff like that, and listened to a few talks of people talking about their experience. They were pretty much sort of doing what I'm doing now, talking about the differences and the shift and from them to now.

Robbie - Host (23:42):
And were they helpful to you?

William Cole - Guest (23:44):
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. It was reassuring to know that you're not alone you know? There're other people out there. Because a big thing that really affects people is the isolation of brain injury.

Robbie - Host (23:57):
Totally.

William Cole - Guest (23:57):
Yeah and again, that motivation...for some people it's just motivation to get out of their bedroom can be quite a hard task. And yeah again, that's why we need more neuropsychologists because they can really break and work those things through with those people. They just really need to know that there are helpful hands out there.

Robbie - Host (24:17):
Totally.

Robbie - Host (00:31):
So I guess in the last two years, or since your accident, have there been any new things that stand out in terms of behaviours or habits that you've introduced into your day to day?

William Cole - Guest (00:42):
Yeah, it's funny. It's changed a lot for the positive. I guess because before I was just your classic 22 year old Aussie bloke, having fun, you know 'beers with the boys' and stuff like that and wanting to go in the fast lane a lot of it.

Robbie - Host (01:05):
Yep.

William Cole - Guest (01:05):
But after the accident, I sort of found myself more reserved and mature and chilled out, you know...funnily enough. Like you'd say I'd been there and done that, but I had a massive motorbike accident and sort of realised how good it is to be alive sort of thing. So yeah, in terms of social habits, I stay a lot longer and really want to chat a bit more, especially to the older generation because they've got a whole wealth of chats and talk and knowledge about things. So I find them very fascinating. And just general respect and love. I came up with this thing that I thought about, cause I wanted to be like 'how can I show that I'm more caring?' It was quite funny because...

Robbie - Host (02:02):
Because you obviously (felt it)...So you felt it and it was like 'I want to demonstrate this'?.

William Cole - Guest (02:05):
Yeah I think that I was pretty caring in my own respect. But I thought how can I... For some reason I I just thought I was bad at it, but anyway. So I came up with this thing that was a little concept that I did because I would often write in my book and just let my thoughts go wherever. And I just write about whatever and there's drawings and events and random daydreaming stuff. So I was writing in that book and came up with the "more, more, more" concept. And it's quite easy because you can just think "more, more, more" in your head. And so when you're active in a conversation with someone or a friend or a spouse or whatever (it means 'show') more understanding, more care and more support. And you could write that more list of more everything, but to start....to try and make yourself think that quickly before (you see someone) "more, more, more", and you just can sort of jump into a new (mindset)... like take a breath and yeah, feel really reserved (calm and centred), and like you really do care about someone and the conversation that you're having.

Robbie - Host (03:22):
So, sorry, just to clarify, do you mean, you'll say that to yourself "more, more, more" meaning 'In this moment, I need to be more understanding, more...

William Cole - Guest (03:30):
...caring, and yeah more respectful.

Robbie - Host (03:34):
Wow that's a really cool way of just planting yourself into that moment isn't it.

William Cole - Guest (03:38):
Absolutely. And yeah it's quick to think about and yeah. Just quickly think about it in your head before you walk into the cafe or...because in my industry you're always working in the yards and shearing sheep etc. and you're pretty tuckered out and knackered and stuff. So it's a good little quick way because you don't want to present yourself to everyone as dirty, stinky and grumpy just because you're tired. So you just want to at least have a good chinwag with them and make it worth (both of) your time.

Robbie - Host (04:10):
Totally, totally.

William Cole - Guest (04:12):
But yeah, well I'll touch a little bit more on that. I guess it stemmed from not being able to communicate properly after the accident... with that lack of focus and attention and being able to string together a sentence to be able to start thinking 'more, more, more' to really get a good conversation flowing and going. Yeah.

Robbie - Host (04:37):
Okay. So that was actually a tool to help you kind of tap back into your own....

William Cole - Guest (04:43):
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I have/had started thinking of a fair few or writing about a fair few, but 'more, more, more' was the quickest and easiest and simplest and there's a couple of pages (of notes of journalling) behind it, you know, of writing my experiences and how I find things. Really to nut everything out. And then all of a sudden I just came up with that. So it was a lot of refining before there was a result.

Robbie - Host (05:10):
That journaling. That's something that sounds like it's been pretty (beneficial)?

William Cole - Guest (05:13):
Yeah. All my life. Yeah. Absolutely.

Robbie - Host (05:15):
And that's been helpful to you in your recovery?

William Cole - Guest (05:18):
Absolutely. A hundred percent. I never date anything, but if people want, they can date,

Robbie - Host (05:24):
You just start writing?

William Cole - Guest (05:25):
Just start writing...because there're books that I could read of my writing that're about six plus years old, but I'd still not know when it was. Yeah. And it's quite funny because some days you know, I don't really want to read them but I just pick them up sometimes if I'm moving stuff out of my bedroom or clearing stuff and I'm like 'oh yeah, I know that book', but don't know the last time I read it and just open it and you're like 'ah, oh yeah!' You know, you're sort of recalling the old self of you or just what you were up to I guess, in the journey of life. You know what you were sort of figuring out about or what you were thinking or feeling and yeah. So it's a good little, a good little tool to have for anyone.

Robbie - Host (06:09):
Yeah. Do you write in that every day?

William Cole - Guest (06:11):
Not every day. At least...at least twice a week.

Robbie - Host (06:13):
Yeah. Do you make time for it or does it just sort of happen?

William Cole - Guest (06:16):
I do make time for it by laying in bed, before I go to bed.

Robbie - Host (06:19):
Yeah.

William Cole - Guest (06:20):
I always pack it with me and even if I'm going to a mate's house, because it's just like, for me, it's just like a phone charger, because it's an escape. Yeah. And you know, I don't need to go down to a friend's house and vent my spleen to them about this or that I can sort of keep myself contained.

Robbie - Host (06:40):
Do it yourself?

William Cole - Guest (06:40):
Yeah. No one needs to hear my thoughts, especially, which is kind of handy, but the bad ones, because I can just get it in there and yeah,

Robbie - Host (06:50):
Sort them out yourself.

William Cole - Guest (06:50):
Yeah sort it out yourself and sort of draw some conclusions and try and come up with a bit more of a mature understanding I suppose later.

Robbie - Host (07:01):
Yeah, nice. What advice would you give to yourself if you were to meet yourself a week before your accident? Or what advice would you tell yourself to ignore?

William Cole - Guest (07:15):
Yeah, that's a good one. Um, I'd definitely give the advice to listen carefully to the doctors and again, make good friendships with them, sorta become friendly rather than that worker, carer thing. I would have given myself the stuff about subtitles and movies.

Robbie - Host (07:44):
Yep.

William Cole - Guest (07:45):
Definitely because I figured that one out about a month or a bit into the stay at the Epworth.

Robbie - Host (07:53):
Could have saved you some time...

William Cole - Guest (07:53):
Yeah. I could have been writing books by then. I would have said to myself to get someone to go down to the shops and get like three things that you really want or like really want to read or, you know, that reminds you of you. Something...like it might be a thing that you like or a book that you like to read.

Robbie - Host (08:28):
Well for you what would that have been? What would that have been in your case?

William Cole - Guest (08:35):
Well, I got given a beginner's guide to growing hops.

Robbie - Host (08:41):
Okay.

William Cole - Guest (08:42):
From dad.

Robbie - Host (08:42):
Nice.

William Cole - Guest (08:42):
And, um, I've read bits of it, but I requested to him that I wanted a book on stone masonry. So I got that and I love stone masonry so I was yeah, fascinated by that and yeah, that was a lot of fun. It's quite fun, like I'm fascinated enough that I'll just watch YouTube for hours on end of these old Scottish blokes or Irish blokes just being like "now you get your stone and they do..." It's a lot of fun. Yeah, and definitely journal, but also definitely to not be afraid to share and chat with the other people in the ward and not feel afraid to talk about the accident itself. Because I think in the ward like no one really (talks about it). I was good mates with one girl who was my age and she was from not too far away from here and we just sort of had that local connection. But she was the only one that I had heard about her accident and no one sort of really shared that with anyone or really talked about it. I guess it was you know, a hospital healing environment, but yeah, I would've said that would've been a good bit of advice to myself.

Robbie - Host (09:56):
Talk about it?

William Cole - Guest (09:56):
Yeah. Just to show that...to be able to share and open up I suppose, and not have to always talk to the professionals, because they always will give their professional response and have to be professional I suppose. Just chat to you know, someone that you can become mates with and just have a proper conversation about it.

Robbie - Host (10:22):
Has it been...would that advice also extend to people outside the hospital setting or in your normal life? Like, is it something...would you encourage people to speak about it with their friends and family and people they know or not to?

William Cole - Guest (10:38):
Absolutely. I think it's one of the biggest parts of healing...is to be able to share your story and to be able to get it out. Because you're doing a lot of reflecting when you're trying to tell your story and you're really processing it yourself and understanding that that's you and that's what happened. And for your friends to be able to listen and take it in is yeah, great and supportive. But you know they're obviously there for you, so you can share that story and it shows a lot about the friendship and how special those friends can be. Yeah, it's a good time for everyone. I think it's, I can't really think of the words for it, but I just find it a very strong thing to be able to do, for a lot of people, to share their story and in, in a positive way. I hope that they hope within their mentality that they really want to strive to get to 100% and really want to prove what may be easily possible, but prove those negative thoughts in their head completely wrong. I do think that sharing your story with others really does help. Being able to talk and say, well "Hi, I'm Will. This is my story" and you know, stuff like that. Because I feel those people would become a lot more open later down the track with their social interactions because they know that they've had this accident and their friends know that and people around the district acknowledge you for that and stuff. So you're not...then all of a sudden you don't become this isolated person. Like everyone knows who you are and you know, you're still included. You never were excluded, but you've just been given...

Robbie - Host (12:34):
It's not the elephant in the corner.

William Cole - Guest (12:35):
Yeah, exactly.

Robbie - Host (12:40):
Any bad recommendations you've heard throughout your recovery?

William Cole - Guest (12:45):
Definitely the ones that the hospitals tell you, which is alcohol and drugs, because there was one bloke at the hospital who got hit by a car at high speeds. He was in a wheelchair and he was crossing a road and just got hit. Anyway, he was still in his wheelchair and he got put into a share house where they were all...they'd have a person come in and check on them.

Robbie - Host (13:10):
Yeah.

William Cole - Guest (13:10):
And they could sort of do what they want, but yeah, they used to drink a lot and a lot. And you'd see...it would affect his relationship.... with the hospital staff was so negative and his whole motivation to get better was so negative. It was quite tough because this man had a young daughter and he was trying to obviously find work and he was a foreign man and the language barrier was tough. I felt for him a lot because I'm sure he was a really nice guy and stuff but he couldn't walk, he was getting pushed around in a wheelchair and he was trying to find work so that he could put his young girl through high school. So yeah, I'd say definitely, alcohol and drugs do stay away from them for as long as you can after the accident.

Robbie - Host (14:06):
Are you back drinking now or do you stay off it?

William Cole - Guest (14:08):
Yeah I do drink, I took a whole year and a bit off afterwards and that was good. But yeah, I'll have a drink with the mates at the football or Melbourne cup day, which is today, but I'm not at the cup. But if I was at the cup in itself, you know, there in person, absolutely. Why not? I guess also...comparing yourself to (before), don't compare yourself to before. Try and really notice the bad things that you're doing to yourself and thinking about and write it down and tell someone, you know.

Robbie - Host (14:57):
What do you mean by that?

William Cole - Guest (14:59):
Try and notice what gets you down. Like what upsets you in your day to day life? It could be one little small thing.

Robbie - Host (15:11):
Just happening again and again.

William Cole - Guest (15:13):
Yeah. And write it down and go to a friend even, or a neuropsychologist or a psychologist or someone and share it with them and don't be afraid to write down what you're finding is difficult and find a resolution for it. There are a lot of services out there and you yourself can really make a difference if you really want to sit down and think it out and have the attitude to want to get better.

Robbie - Host (15:48):
Now, you also ran this brilliant event. I've heard a little bit about it. Was it last year?

William Cole - Guest (15:54):
It was yes, it was in 2018.

Robbie - Host (15:57):
Do you want to tell me a little bit about that?

William Cole - Guest (15:59):
I was back from hospital and I was working alongside my neuropsychologist, who was amazing. I said to her about this idea that I had, that it would be great for everyone in the district (and it was being a bit keen if I got everyone in the district), but people around the district who had had these injuries to get into one room together and to be able to sit down and share their stories and feel like there's a little community behind it. And so we started writing a few things down and got some planning things ahead, and we came up with a date. And so I got my neuropsychologist and then another two ladies who were helping me, a speech pathologist and an occupational therapist together and we thought out the best way to be able to bring everyone together is to do some guest speakers. So people can listen and we'll have a break and have a drink and something to nibble on and then get back into some talking and then some questions and then a mingle afterwards. So we came up with that little structure for the evening. We ran it on the 12th of July in 2018, starting late in the evening and it was quite amazing. I spoke for about 10 minutes and spoke about the injury and how it affected me, and my rehabilitation and the community support that I had behind it. And then also I got to share some tips and tricks and strategies with the other people in the room who had gone through a similar injury. Then my neuropsychologist and the speech pathologist and the OT talked about brain injury and what their role is as a neuropsych or a speech pathologist. And my neuropsych she was very well-spoken and I could see it in her, she was reaching out to the crowd to be like 'I really want to help you too'. You know she really just wanted to help everyone and she just shared some rehab approaches and strategies and just little things.

Robbie - Host (18:38):
Anything that you want to share now?

William Cole - Guest (18:39):
I think I've got all mine out earlier today. But she was going on about causes and effects and it was great. The question time was good afterwards because a lot of people were funnily enough, asking questions about comparing themselves (to before). One of the ways it was asked was, one girl, she said she was doing something and then she stopped and then she'd run into the next room and come back and be so frustrated at herself and then wonder why (what she'd started) wasn't done. And then she'd start getting angry at herself for not doing it. And we sort of sat down and chatted about that for a couple of minutes and came to the reason that she was comparing an old (version of) herself to a new self that she'd switch all of a sudden her attention and be trying to be her old self but not accepting that she is a new self. It was an amazing event. We got it published in the paper and we had a turnout of about 30 to 40 people. And you could see firsthand the impact it had because after all the speakers we had the question time and then a bit of chit chat. But at the start the whole general vibe was a bit isolated I suppose, like everyone was sort of just there waiting for it to start and not really acknowledging each other and just (thinking) who's that guy, who's this and dah, dah, dah. But then afterwards, everyone sort of became friends and their eyes had lit up and they were chatting. And the amazing thing was they were chatting about their injuries and not feeling scared or nervous or judged or anything.

Robbie - Host (20:28):
Yep.

William Cole - Guest (20:30):
And that was, it was just unreal to see. And of course the OT and my neuropsych and whatnot were there. And they were getting absolutely worked out because a lot of people were there. A lot of carers were there as well and they were asking things that they'd noticed in their partners and they're taking on a caring role and were chatting to the professionals and getting some tips and tricks. There were also numbers being exchanged with the neuro psychologist and new clients. So it was a very constructive atmosphere.

Robbie - Host (21:07):
Beautiful.

Robbie - Host (21:07):
It felt...it really felt like I was on top of the world after it happened, because it was just something that really should be happening more.

Robbie - Host (21:17):
Totally.

William Cole - Guest (21:18):
And it was so reinforcing of the fact that, yeah, where there's community, there's definitely a way out. Like everything can really be resolved through a community and help is on its way. Yeah.

Robbie - Host (21:33):
Is it something you're hoping to kind of replicate or continue?

William Cole - Guest (21:38):
Yeah absolutely. Because I have sort of returned back to my life. I do, with my journal and stuff, I've been writing stuff about it. I sort of do need a big kick up the bum to really start getting going again. But I'm very passionate about it.

Robbie - Host (21:55):
You're doing alright!

William Cole - Guest (21:56):
I'm working a bit flat and that annoyingly takes over, but yeah I'd love to do more information sessions. It is a little bit tough because with the passing of my wonderful, amazing neuropsychologist, she really helped get the ball rolling. But I guess if anyone is listening and wants to get the ball rolling (with me), someone who's keen... I'd just be keen to put these sort of days together or information nights for people to come across. I've got a network of treaters who would be more than happy to speak and so there's everything there. We just need to start getting them more on the frequent and a bit more of a structure and system behind it. But I also need someone to help me, to be my offsider ,to be like "right, it's going to be here on this night and we've got to get all this set up..." Because I think trying to do it by myself would be a bit, a bit full on, especially with my own work commitments. And going forward from there, one thing that I would also love to be able to help out with is at the Epworth and it was quite good because I was doing my Epworth longitudinal head research study thing, and I was chatting to the girl about this and it was a mentorship program of people who've had brain injuries to be able to go into the hospital and meet people who have had the same injury maybe a couple of weeks after when they're sort of feeling back to themselves. Just to be able to go in and chat and share their experiences and sort of be a mentor, but you know, not a mentor, like a big brother or a big sister... and just to be like "Hey, I've been there and...

Robbie - Host (23:47):
"I'm ok"

William Cole - Guest (23:47):
Yeah, exactly. Just sort of reinforce that it takes time and you've got to work on some steps as opposed to other steps and just to help guide them and to further the reassurance for their rehabilitation. And you never know, they still may be friends for 10 years or something. But to sort of get something in the works that people who have been through all of that and been (come) out of it, you know, for five or so years, and have obviously had plenty of experience with the new self to be able to go and share tricks with those people in the hospital. Because we had, like, when I was at the Epworth we had breakfast club and stuff and that would break up the day, but, well, it's tough to say, but it was quite dull because you're all in bed or, you know, you're all ill and in hospital, so no one's really trying to be chirpy, you know, stuff like that. Um,

Robbie - Host (24:51):
So just to have some people, an injection of some people coming back in who understand, but have come out the other side and can (share their experiences)

William Cole - Guest (24:57):
Absolutely. I just think it would be of benefit to the hospital and the people who have had those injuries a lot more and maybe help them change their attitude. Because I think the whole thing for me personally has been, just your mindset behind what you believe in and what you don't and just your mentality behind it. I think for that event, people would hear and see these other people and feel like, you know, they got some helpful tricks and (thought) yep, that's gonna be me in a couple of years. I'll be out of here and be back to myself or doing what I want to be doing at least.

Robbie - Host (25:41):
Brilliant. Well we'll watch this space and look forward to seeing that program take off.

William Cole - Guest (25:45):
Absolutely. Yeah.

Robbie - Host (25:47):
Is there anything in particular that you'd like to share before we wrap up? Any thank you's or any sort of final thoughts you want to leave with people?

William Cole - Guest (25:58):
Always want to get better and always have a good relationship with your doctor or treater because they put in a hard amount of work for you to help you get better. So always be respectful of them and the work that they do. And so too with carers. A massive thank you to Ambulance Victoria, the chopper driver, the Epworth, the Royal Melbourne hospital and all the treaters: the occupational therapist...the whole of them across the bloody nation. They're really, really doing great work and really helping out people that have experienced hitting rock bottom through an accident or a fall...or something. Because yeah, it's just amazing to have these systems set up in place behind it and yeah, a huge, huge, thank you to the TAC (Traffic Accident Commission). Without them, oh God, I heard a story when I was in the bed. My mate said there was a guy in America who had a similar accident and he woke up and he got slapped with about a $600,000 bill. His response was "Why didn't you kill me? I can't afford to pay that". So it's amazing to have such a good, such good things in place in this country. And just to know that they're really caring for you and they will help you, fund you or do whatever (they need to). They're really good people. I think that sort of covers it in terms of thank you's, I guess my friends and family and community. They're all amazing in their own regards. But yeah, that's quite it....If you are listening, keep on being you and you shall keep on.

Robbie - Host (27:59):
Thank you very much. You're an inspiration and I look forward to seeing you... I mean, to me, you already look like you're a hundred percent. You look brilliant. You sound fantastic. But yeah, best of luck on the continued recovery back to a hundred percent or towards a hundred percent of your new self. And I'll look forward to watching your progress and seeing what you do. Thanks so much for your time.

William Cole - Guest (28:23):
Thank you very much Robbie. Cheers.

Robbie - Outro (28:48):
Hey guys, it's Robbie again. I'll have show notes on everything we talked about this episode on the podcast website (there's a link to that on the podcast description) along with a full transcript if you find that easier to follow along or to find what you need.  
I do need to highlight that neither I, nor any of the people that I interview on this podcast are medical professionals. The advice and learnings which we share during our discussions are not medical advice and should be considered and reviewed in consultation with a trusted medical professional prior to being acted upon. These are our learnings from our experiences take what is valuable and leave the rest. Next episode, I'll be speaking with Sally Callie, a triple Olympian in the sport of rowing, a teacher, a Mum and a stroke survivor. She's a creative and passionate individual and I look forward to sharing her journey of recovery with you. Until then, I wish you courage and energy on your own journey forward. Thanks for listening.