Note: Time stamps for the chapter episodes are based on the full episode recording.
Robbie Frawley 00:10
Welcome to Chapter 3. In this chapter Sally shares her main recovery learnings.
Robbie Frawley 46:09
Looking back now, what would you say were the most crucial and beneficial things for your recovery?
Sally Callie 46:18
Definitely setting habits and being strict with your habits. Because we know that habits compound over time. To the point where there's a checklist, and making sure you get the 'well being' things done: the eight hours of sleep, the good food, the good hydration, and even making sure your 'self talk' (is positive and supportive). So the habit is, ticking that you've done some good self talk that day. You've stopped the negative thoughts and you've replaced them with positive thoughts. That was really important. Also reflecting daily on what went well, that was a really big thing for me, or the 1% improvements - finding out something that went well or something that improved. So those daily habits were really important and I did write down what I wanted to achieve every day and I tried to tick the box every day. That was a really important thing. The second thing that was very important was being a student of my purpose. So making sure I read the latest research on stroke recovery. I made sure I was finding out the leading research, applying it to my training programme - that made me feel very empowered. Not just being a patient... I really wanted to be the pilot, not the passenger. That was incredibly empowering. Owning my story, owning my recovery, and owning my training programme. So it didn't make me feel like a victim. It made me feel like a survivor.
Robbie Frawley 47:43
And where were you finding your.... in terms of your reading material and the things that you were then incorporating into your own training? Where were you finding that?
Sally Callie 47:52
I think most of it came from The Brain that Changes Itself. Norman Doidge's book. They talked a lot about constraint induced therapy and that was my big shift. For me, constraint induced therapy is for those people that have lost sensation in one part of their body, and, you know, stroke survivors. So being paralysed on one side of the body, I was able to strap my good side, my strong side, my non affected side to my body, and this would force me to use my weak side. So my weak side... you know I would stagger up to a door and attempt to get my left arm which is my paralysed arm to turn that door handle. And even just by thinking about the movement was creating those neural pathways or reinvigorating those neural pathways. Now, you're only meant to do that for two or three hours a day is what the research says because you get so exhausted. But I pushed the boundaries a bit there. I think we all know each other. We all know ourselves well enough and I felt like I had a limited time to.... Yeah, so I went pretty hard on that. I did have a few falls and....
Robbie Frawley 48:58
How many hours a day did you do?
Sally Callie 49:00
I did it every moment of the day Robbie, I was desperate. I was in the most desperate place and I was desperate. I knew how to cope with exhaustion through my training as an elite athlete. I knew how to push through. And I was desperate. Yeah, I have to say I was not following any prescribed programme, I was writing my own programme and I was in a desperate place. So I pushed myself every moment of the day. I would be working that weak side to the point of exhaustion because that's how you train as an Olympic athlete and that's how I knew how to train... it was to push the body to exhaustion and...
Robbie Frawley 49:38
Go hard.
Sally Callie 49:38
Yeah, yeah, for sure. And I was young and perhaps the research might have been done on elderly stroke patients. I'm not sure but I felt I was young, I was an Olympic athlete and I was angry. I was fired up. There was no way I could stay in this place. I knew I had to call on everything I'd learned in my life, to pull myself together and you know, going to three Olympics was hard but being a stroke survivor was twice as hard. You know, I can't tell you how deep I had to dig, to transfer those lessons from sport over to the rehab space and how much that year tested me. You know it was the most testing year of my life.
Robbie Frawley 50:19
Well, well done!
Sally Callie 50:20
But the most rewarding at the same time, you know, when you can look back and realise that achievement. And I'm prouder to be a stroke survivor than I am to be an Olympic athlete, because I know how hard it is to survive a brain injury and get your life back again, whatever that may be, you know, whatever happiness that may be.
Robbie Frawley 50:38
What is the best or the most worthwhile investment you've made during your recovery? Now, that could be an investment of time, energy, effort, money... whatever.
Sally Callie 50:48
That's a good question. Investment in time would be my answer, investment of being connected to others. Prior to my brain injury I think I was on a treadmill, you know, chasing career and chasing materialistic things. I think a brain injury teaches you that time is not guaranteed. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. Friends ARE important. I do remember the best life lessons I learned while I was in rehab was the lessons from the elderly and most of those lessons were about time. You know, the palliative care, elderly stroke survivors that I was sharing a room with, said things to me like that they wished they'd followed their dreams. Or they wished they'd stayed in touch with friends or they wished they didn't work so hard. That was gold to me. You know, I was getting a whole year off life and here I was listening to the elderly tell me what their regrets (were). And most of it where they wish they had more time, you know, to follow their dreams, spend time with friends and not work so hard. So the gift of time is what this brain injury has taught me and I've applied that in my life today.
Robbie Frawley 52:00
Beautiful. I love it. You've mentioned Norman George's book, so this might be the answer, but I'll ask the question anyway... what book (or it could be a movie or YouTube video for instance) would you gift to someone who's recovering from a similar stroke? And why?
Sally Callie 52:18
That's a great question. I was given a gift when I was in rehab by one of the elderly roommates... one of the early stroke survivors. She gave me this beautiful Japanese bowl. I think you pronounce it 'Kintsugi' and it is the ancient Japanese art of 'wabi sabi'. Now, the bowl she gave me was broken but glued together with gold glue. And she could see that I was really nervous about being discharged after a year because I was terrified because I had so many flaws. I felt imperfect, you know, I walked with a limp, I spoke with a slur, my handwriting was illegible. And I was a teacher, you know. I felt really imperfect. So she gave me this bowl and she taught me the lesson, that lesson of that ancient Japanese art (of) seeing possibilities in imperfection. So she said that even though your body is broken, we've got to capitalise on our authentic point point of difference. So you've got to redefine your perception of imperfection and she just nailed it for me, because I think we all have a story. We all have a crack in our bowl. And she did tell me that that crack is where the light shines through. That's your point of difference now and you need to, I guess, be proud. And now every time (that) I do share that point of difference or show my vulnerability, I feel like I've got better trust, better connection, better communication with those around me. So that was the gift that I would give another person is the wabi sabi bowl because that perception of imperfection is something I think we all struggle with. And I think we've all got a story and we all need to be a bit more vulnerable in sharing our story, to be able to develop a bit more trust and connection with others.
Robbie Frawley 54:07
Absolutely. Thankyou, that's a lovely gift. She sounds like a very wise woman.
Sally Callie 54:11
Yeah. And I've passed that gift on to many (others). You know it's one of those 'Pay It Forward' gifts that I try and ensure we do share around.
Robbie Frawley 54:20
Since your stroke, what new belief behaviour or habit has most improved your life?
Sally Callie 54:25
Since my stroke I've been able to reflect back on my Olympic career and also on the year that I took to rehabilitate. N ow I put it down to an acronym so I try and keep this acronym going and that's the acronym of gold. So G O L D. So I always reflect back to the lessons I learnt at the Olympics and the lessons I learnt in the rehab centre. And if I can look at those strategies I used it really does spell the word GOLD. So it's the word Gratitude - making sure every single day I find something to be grateful for. I know gratitude is a buzzword, but really, it's asking yourself what went well, and I go to the extent of writing that down every single day. I also go to the extent of asking my children who are now 10 and 11, what went well for them, because I think gratitude really brings those positive emotions. And then the second thing, that 'Obstacles are opportunities', that's a really important thing, our obstacles have meaning. We are all going to face challenges. We've all got curveballs coming our direction, no one's going to be, I guess, no one's going to get away from those sorts of things. So try to find meaning of why this is happening, and what this means and what lessons that you are being taught. I think that's the second thing that's really important. The L stands for 'Leading from within', I really think we have to find out what's within us. And it's an authentic leadership, finding out our point of difference and being proud of our vulnerabilities and leading with those vulnerabilities. That's really important to me, leading from the heart and finding out who we are, and what our purpose is, is incredibly important. And then lastly, which I've spoken about a fair bit, through this podcast is the daily habits, and making sure you commit to those daily habits that change the trajectory of your life. And that's the biggest one, the daily habits, you know, getting a solid routine set up. And it's often the boring stuff that ends up really compounding and improving the trajectory of your life. You know that really boring stuff that we often let our subconscious take charge of. If we can actually be a bit more aware of what we're doing, what we're thinking, what we're saying to myself, who we're talking to, what time we're going to bed, how much we're drinking, eating? Yeah, those are the things, those are the daily habits. So that GOLD acronym, those are my four pillars of well being, and I live by those. I ensure everyone around me lives by those four pillars and the kids that I teach, you know, live by those four pillars, because I think they're really important. And they will bring better well being and happiness into our lives.
Robbie Frawley 57:07
Thank you. What advice would you give to someone who has just experienced a stroke? For context, probably the timing is important too, targeting the time when they've just finished their initial rehab, and they're about to re-enter "the real world". The time when you were given that beautiful gift of the bowl by your fellow patient. It's a time when there's a lot of fear about "oh, I've hit the 90 days, and I'm still not 'right', I'm not how I was before" where there's a fair bit of fear there. What advice would you have to someone in that (position)?
Sally Callie 57:49
The advice I'd give, is probably three things. The first one being, go back and check you've got the foundation right, go back and check those daily habits. Make sure that you are getting good sleep, good food, good support around you, and you've got the right people in your life. Get all the foundation things right and get some good daily habits set up. Because I don't think we can do anything until you've got a strong base. I don't think we can move forward until you have that strong base: eight hours of sleep, good food, great books around you, educational books, talking to yourself in a positive mindset. I think once we've got that foundation, then it's about trying to make sense of what's happened to you. That comes down to the thinking that an obstacle is actually a gift, it's an opportunity. So trying to make sense of what's happened to you. Try to figure out what this means and trying to find something positive out of this. Perhaps you're now spending more time with your family, perhaps you're now looking at a career change. Trying to make any sort of meaning because I think science tells us that if we can make meaning of obstacles, we're in a way better place to recover. And then the third lesson that's really important, or the third thing that I'd share is that authentic leadership, to celebrate your point of difference. Perhaps capitalise on your point of difference, your authentic point and start to redefine your thoughts of what imperfection is, because that's really important. We're all aware, we all have FOMO you know, 'fear of other people's opinions'. When our body changes and perhaps our speech gets slurred or you develop a limp, but it's about that authentic leadership now, so perhaps, not having FOMO or FOPO you know. Don't be ashamed of who you are. Start to find out that this point of difference is now something you have to own. You need to own this situation now, and you have to use this to your advantage. So find this point of difference. See it as your authentic (point of difference) and let the light shine through the cracks in your body. They're the three things that I guess I'd pass on.
Sally Callie 57:49
Great advice. I've got to ask what's, what's FOPO?
Sally Callie 1:00:10
Fear of Other People's Opinions.
Robbie Frawley 1:00:12
and FOMO is Fear Of Missing Out.
Sally Callie 1:00:15
Yeah. FOPO is fear of other people's opinions. I was a big sufferer of that my whole career, and I think many brain injury survivors (are too). It's so hard to go back to your career after these calamities, you know, after these brain injuries. I was, my job was a director of sport at an elite girls school. I was always up on stage giving speeches, and I was always driving school buses. I was one of the leaders in the school, and I was so terrified of going back. I couldn't drive a bus, I couldn't demonstrate anything in PE classes anymore and I couldn't give a speech at assembly. So I was terrified. But it gave me a new opportunity to change careers and now I'm in a better place. So sometimes those obstacles have meaning. And sometimes these things perhaps happen for a reason, you know, and put you in a better place than you were.
Robbie Frawley 1:01:10
What bad recommendations did you hear during your recovery? (And those could be bad generally, or specifically for you at a specific time)
Sally Callie 1:01:21
I'm not sure if this will answer the question but it's to avoid being a victim and to avoid being a passenger. Own this situation, research as much as you can you know. Be the pilot, not the passenger. Be accountable for what's happened to you. The last thing we need to do, and we feel like often doing it is point the finger, blame others and ask why. But that's going to help no one. So we really need to own the situation, become a student of your purpose, read everything you can on your condition, find out about the latest research and apply it to your condition. That empowerment is the most important thing. I keep saying this, but we've got to be a pilot, not a passenger. You can't be a victim or you're not going to improve. We have to own our story. Once we own our story, then I think we're bulletproof.
Robbie Frawley 1:02:13
I'm not sure if this is the case (for you) or not but there are times when we have bad days, or when symptoms flare and that sort of thing. That can be quite intimidating within itself. If you have a symptom flare or something like that, how do you tackle that?
Sally Callie 1:02:33
Yeah, that happens a lot. You know, it's probably painting quite a rosy picture. But the reason I'm painting a rosy picture is because we have to be optimistic, and we've always got to be flooding our brain with positive thoughts. Quite often, you know, I see no progression, I see myself going backwards, I see myself limping, slurring my words, messy writing, you know, being misunderstood. And when this happens, I just go back to that foundation of daily habits. You know, make sure I'm getting sleep, make sure I'm looking after myself, that I go to my mental health and make sure I'm actually writing down the things that went well, celebrating the successes. So it's about going back to the foundation and checking that's in place before you start the self doubt before you start criticising yourself and feeling like you're going backwards.
Robbie Frawley 1:03:22
Yeah, good advice.
Robbie Frawley 1:03:30
That's the end of chapter 3. In the final chapter Sally describes the lessons she applied from her Olympic career.